An Odd Series of Events
by HobbitLuvr28
Summary: What happens when Hermione goes to a party held at the Weasley Twins' place and has a wee bit much to drink? FIND OUT!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING! Just my side of the story!  
  
Chapter One: Why can't I go?!  
  
It's the beginning of Harry's seventh and final year at Hogwarts, and before term starts, Fred and George decide to throw a little shindig for Ron and his mates, and of course Harry and Hermione are invited, with the possibility of a few others showing up. "And what good would a summer party be without some Spirits eh?" Fred said happily. George however said, "I dunno.you really wanna get this lot drunk?" "Why not? Let's let 'em have a bit of fun!" Fred smirked. "Okay, but if anything happens, you're talking our way out of it!" George said smiling. "My dear brother, what situation may I ask have I never been able to charm our way out of?" Fred laughed.  
  
Harry, Ron, Neville and Hermione, along with a few other Gryffindor students were at the Weasley Twins' new apartment, getting ready to have a celebration party. Fortunately, it was in the basement of a complex building close to the Twins business, (which was going quite well) and it's very roomy, and hardly any noise travels upstairs. The perfect place to have the party of the summer.  
  
"Okay, Harry, Ron, come with me. I'll need people to help me carry the cases. Hermione, stay here with Neville and Ginny. When Fred gets back, tell him where we went ok?" George said to Hermione while she was sitting on a couch.  
  
"But, why can't I go too?" she asked pouting, putting down her book.  
  
"Don't take it personal Sweetheart, but you're too young looking. We don't want it to look suspicious to the Muggle shop owner." Ron said as Hermione watched his foot leave the top step she could see.  
  
"Alright, but be quick!" she said. Hermione never pictured herself as much of a drinker, but she was curious as to how it might feel.  
  
Ron and Harry did a good job convincing her to come, saying that it'd be a new learning experience for her, which of course Hermione couldn't pass up. After much reassurance that she wasn't going to have her parents see her in such a state, she decided to come over with Ron and Harry to the party.  
  
Fred came down the stairs, carrying a six pack of Hard Lemonade with him. Neville was busy reading a book in the corner, not noticing anyone hardly.  
  
"They go get more?" he asked, setting down the case.  
  
"Yeah, they should be back in a few minutes." Hermione said looking at the stairs, feeling oddly anxious. "Fred? Would you mind passing me one?" she said shyly.  
  
"Well.these were supposed to be for me, but all right. Giving you one couldn't hurt."  
  
He handed her the bottle, which she took slowly, looking a bit nervously at it. Untwisting the cap, she heard a slight hiss, and looked at the bottle again.  
  
"This isn't bitter is it?" she asked before taking a sip.  
  
"Nah!" Fred said laughing. "Tastes more like candy!"  
  
Hermione took a sip and winced slightly as the alcohol burned down her throat. After swallowing it, she gave a slight "MMmm!" and pretty much had the rest of the bottle. 


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: So It Begins.  
  
After finishing the rest of the bottle in a matter of minutes, Hermione turned to Fred who sat in a chair next to the couch, ready to have one himself. Hermione looked at him and smiled.  
  
"May I have another?" she asked sweetly.  
  
"All right, I can never say no to a lady! But this is your last one from me ok? You'll have to wait for the others to come." Fred said as he got up and handed Hermione another bottle.  
  
"Oy Fred! Can I have one?" Neville piped up, putting his book down.  
  
"Are you a lady?" Fred asked, twisting the cap off of one.  
  
"Nnnoo."  
  
"Then the answer is.NO!" Fred said laughing.  
  
"Please may I have one?" Neville said, trying to imitate a woman's voice  
  
Fred just stared at Neville shook his head 'no' and drank his bottle slowly.  
  
"Fine! Well, I hope you know you're making me miserable right now!" Neville shouted as he went over to a wizarding chess board and started to try a game by himself, or plotting how to move when Ron plays with him.  
  
Hermione just giggled as she heard them argue, while drinking her own lemonade.  
  
"You just might want to slow down there Hermione. This is your fist time you know, take it easy." Fred said smiling to her.  
  
"Yeah, I know, but it's so good tasting! Besides, I'm tough enough." She said waving her arm lazily.  
  
She finished off the bottle and began to feel slightly light headed. 'Maybe I should have eaten something.' she thought to herself. 'Harry and Ron always say it's no good to drink on an empty stomach. Oh well, they'll bring food back too.' She placed the empty bottles on the couch, in the empty corner.  
  
A few moments later, George, Harry and Ron came back, each carrying a good- sized case of liquor. Upon coming down the stairs and setting the cases down, Ron took a look at Hermione, who waved to him in return. He then squinted his eyes towards the couch and saw the empty bottles sitting near her.  
  
"Hey! You started without us!" he said putting two and two together  
  
"Oops!" she said sweetly smiling while wobbily getting up to grab a Hard Cranberry Lemonade.  
  
"Man Hermione," George said, "You're a light one aren't you?"  
  
"Well, think about it!" Harry said taking a Skyy, "She's had 2 drinks within a half hour of each other! Plus it's her first time! I'm sure you were no better!" he finished laughing.  
  
"Still, I don't want her getting sick." Ron said opening a bottle of vodka and pouring it into some Muggle soda. "I'm keeping an eye on you!" he said pointing to Hermione who smirked at him.  
  
"You're just jealous because I started drinking without you!" she said laughing.  
  
"So now we have to play a game of 'Catch Up' eh?" he said after chugging his cup, pouring another.  
  
"If thass what you want!" Hermione said smiling and thinking 'This is great fun!'  
  
"Cheers!" Ron said to her, lifting his glass.  
  
Hermione winked at him as she raised her own bottle and nodded. 


	3. Chapter 3

Author's note: Hi guys! Thanx for your reviews! I enjoy writing this story too! The chapters are going to get longer, just because I love u guys that much :-D so enjoy!  
  
Chapter 3: You're so Piss Drunk..  
  
It was at this time that the party was actually moving along. People started to crowd around the cases, grabbing the drinks of their choice before anyone else could get them. Hermione was taking things a bit fast as she grabbed yet another Hard Lemonade, her 4th within the hour, and sat down on the couch, with Ron sitting nearer. They got into an odd conversation about movies and what's in them.  
  
"Im tellin' yah.." Hermione said looking at Ron waving her bottle in his face, "'f yah lissn closely to th' sounds.in the back'round, you can just hear this cat going REOW! Rally lould!" she said finishing her drink.  
  
Of course, they were talking about Monty Python and the Holy Grail.:-P  
  
Ron started laughing hysterically "C'm off it! I musta seen tha' movie least." he looked down at his hand, trying to get his fingers to work properly, but gave up, "An esy 'undred times! An' I never heard no hic cat before." He said draining his bottle.  
  
"I's true! I swwwwwweaaaaar it!" Hermione said to him, grabbing his shoulders.  
  
"Wellp, 'Scuse me 'Mione," Ron said getting unsteadily up from the couch, arms outstretched in case he fell. "Gotta go talk wif.." He squinted looking around the room trying to tell which one was Harry. "Tha' one I think. OY! Harry!" he shouted to him, giving a sloppy gesture to get Harry over to him.  
  
"Yeah? Whassit?" he slurred to his best friend.  
  
"Come wif me upstairs for a tic." Ron said grabbing him by the shoulders and pointing Harry to the stair case.  
  
While they were walking upstairs, George was coming down with food that he scrounged up in the fridge. It was a bit of Muggle food that has soon become George's favorite: Sesame chicken with white rice. "Steady on!" he shouted as Ron and Harry slauntered up the stairs. George carrying the tray of food, sat down in the chair next to the couch where Hermione was sitting. Hermione, who was very hungry herself, sat and watched George eat some of his chicken, not touching the rice. Thinking she was being sly, Hermione would edge her way closer and closer to George, hoping that he wouldn't notice. Once she was within reaching distance, in a flurry of white rice, she grabbed a handful and scooted back to her side of the couch, eating it like a chipmunk, smiling broadly.  
  
"Heeeyyyy!" George said to her brushing rice off his lap.  
  
Hermione merely giggled while she ate the rice ni her hand.  
  
"You know, th'res food up-*HIC- stairs if you wan' soum. Or ther's food on th' table." George pointed. "'f you're 'ungry, go grab sume." Obviously George was a bit mad because no one messes with his favorite food, no matter who they are.  
  
"Sorry George," Hermione said "But it looked sssssoooo good!" she finished smiling.  
  
"Yeah, well, I'll letcha off this time.." George said as he went back to his meal, smiling at her. Hermione amused herself for a moment watching Fred and Neville play wizard chess.  
  
Once again, Hermione started scooting toward George's end of the couch, but would stop suddenly and smile whenever George turned his head. When she was close enough to the chair, she placed her elbows on the arm rest and held up her head with her hands, looking at George, who slowly stopped eating to look at her.  
  
"C'n I 'elp you?" he said raising an eyebrow, mouth full of chicken.  
  
Hermione placed her head on his shoulder and said "Ooohhh no, not really." Sweetly with a smile. "But I was wondering.areyougoingtofinishyourice?" she said fast, sloppily, while batting her eyelashes.  
  
George heaved a sigh and said "you really shud be th' one' eatin', you need water too. 's no good to be drinkin' onan empty stomach, so eat th' rice, then go 'pstairs 'nd get some wat'r." George said smiling to her.  
  
"Water? Who needs water when I 'ave thisss?" she pulle dup a bottle of Smirnoff Twisted Raspberry and began to chug it. When she was finished, she took the thing of rice and began eating some of it. After about 5 bites she looked down at it, then pushed it into George's hands. "'ere," she said mouth full of rice, "'m done." She said swallowing.  
  
George shrugged. "Take it upstairs now." He said.  
  
"Okey Dokey!" Hermione said in a sing-song voice getting up to her feet. Certainly not walking in a straight line, Hermione made her way to the stairs. Fred too got up, deciding he'd like to go upstairs as well. On the way up, Hermione nearly tripped and fell down the stairs, which would have gotten food all over her. Fred stuck his hands out to prevent this as Hermione leaned back on his outstretched palms. Looking at him upside down, Hermione started laughing saying "Thank you!" to Fred, who was laughing himself.  
  
For a while, they just stood there, Fred occasionally pushing Hermione playfully.  
  
"Herminone!" Neville shouted suddenly. "You okay?" he said looking at her with glazed concern. Neville was a lighter weight than Hermione when it came to drinking.  
  
"OH YEAH! 'M JUST FINE!" she said loudly flinging her arms in the air. Fred had to steady himselfto prevent the both of them tumbling down the stairs.  
  
"Okay Hermioneeee." said Fred in a sweet voice "Time to get mo-vin'!" as he pushed her gently up the stairs.  
  
"BEEP!" Ron said as he and Harry came galloping down the stair way, shoving Fred and Hermione.  
  
"Oh, tha's nice!" Hermione said laughing when she reached the top. Tossing the rice bowl in the sink without caring, Hermione searched for a cup. Upon finding one, she filled it with water and drank the whole thing. "Oh man!" she moaned. "Hhmm?" Fred said while pulling out a bottle of butterscotch. "I haffta go to th' li girls room!" Hermione whispered, dancing on the spot. Fred started laughing and said "I's over there!" pointing to a hallway. "Firs' door 'n your left." "Thanks! Hermione squeaked. "You're so piss drunk!" Fred called after her.  
  
Another Author's note: There's a surprise at the end of the story for everyone..I'm not sure when I'm going to end it, but when I do.I shall reveal all! ( 


	4. Chapter 4

Author's note: SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING SOONER! (I had a lot of school stuff and work)!!! Oh, just for reference, I'm not good at typing drunken pronunciations.so bear with me. Trust me, they're still drunk lol. Still luv u all!  
  
Chapter 4: Drunken Nintendo and Grail  
  
After Hermione relieved herself, she wobbily made her way back down the stairs to find everyone crowded around an odd Muggle device, talking about who will be on who's team. She knows that she's seen one before, but couldn't remember what it was called. Looking at the cases of liquor, Hermione decided that she's certainly had enough at the moment and didn't want to smote all of her brain cells in one night (or any for that matter) and went over to the table.  
  
"Hey Hermione!" Neville shouted to her. "Are you all right?"  
  
"I'M JUST FINE!" she shouted happily to him. "I hada right jolly piss, and yourself?"  
  
"Perfect!" Neville said to her as she stood near the stairs for a minute, petting a cat that followed her down. (no, Crookshanks wasn't invited :-D )  
  
"Per-hic-fect!" Harry shouted, "'Mione's back! Now we c'n start th' game!"  
  
"Okay, Herms, you're going te be onnn..Fred and Neville's side, and Ron, Harry 'n me 'll be on our side." George said to her, pointing her where to sit down.  
  
Hermione took a seat between Fred and Neville as George pushed the POWER button.  
  
"'EY! Whass this called again?" Ron shouted suddenly  
  
"Uhh, Nin-tendo!" George laughed, hiccupping in the middle.  
  
"We bought it from a second-hand muggle shop. Iss a really fun lil thing.took George 'n me ages to find out how ta get it workin' 'n even then we called in a muggle fella we knew." Fred said as the funny music started playing.  
  
Of course the game was none other than Mario Brothers. Fred and George took the hobby of collecting old Nintendo cartridges in order to play more games on it..even some they didn't understand.  
  
The pure blood wizards of the group, other than the Weasley Twins, watched in amazement as the little man on the t.v. jumped about, hitting bricks, shooting fire annnndd...  
  
"Why's he eat that mushroom, then all th' sudden get bigger?" Neville asked with great confusion.  
  
"Dunno!" said Fred pushing the buttons furiously "But it'd be sweet to get a hold of one.."  
  
"Eeeww!" Ron yelled as Mario reached the end of the first level. "How c'n he jus go through tha' pipe and end up all clean like that?" he asked wrinkling his nose in disgust.  
  
Everyone else started laughing hysterically because when you're drunk, any concept is funny. They all got into this huge discussion about how it could possibly happen, which were in turn funny, even though they were trying to be serious about the subject.  
  
"I"VE GOT IT!" Harry suddenly shouted, making George jump so bad that he pushed the wrong button, making poor Mario fall into lava.  
  
"Well, whassit already?" George said testily as he handed the controller to Neville, who had to be taught how to push the buttons correctly.  
  
"Think 'bout it! Tur'les don't use bathrooms do they? An' those mushroooooooom thingies don't have to crap because they don' eat and they're. assless!" Harry finished triumphantly smiling.  
  
The whole room rang out with laughter so badly that everyone just forgot about the game, and Mario died so many times because time would run out, or something would bump him off. Once everyone caught their breath, George went back to a case of liquor and pulled a bottle out.  
  
"A toast! To 'arry who figred out the mystery of the Squeaky Clean Sewers!" He shouted.  
  
Neville finished off his cup, and everyone else to be polite, grabbed a drink and drank to Harry, who chugged a glass of straight vodka. (Pulling a nasty face afterwards!)  
  
Hermione made her way back to the couch, feeling spirited and some how hyper and lazy at the same time. Sitting for about 30 seconds, she went over to the DVD player, which she knew how to work, and put in Monty Python's Holy Grail. Neville came over and sat with her, as she sank into a huge bean-bag chair, looking like she was in the mouth of a huge creature because her legs stuck out at an odd angle (NOT perverted lol!) Neville merely sat on the ground next to her.  
  
"You ok?" he asked as the movie started, drinking from his lemonade.  
  
Hermione gave him an odd look, an mix of annoyance and angry-confusion.  
  
"Yeah, I'm fine!" she said leaning her head back.  
  
Over a period of 10 minutes, everyone else came over, and watched the movie. Hermione was pointing out to Ron that yes, you can hear cats going "REOW!" in the background for various reasons, whether they're being beaten on a wall, or heard when the Knights are building the Trojan Rabbit. At the "Knights of the Round Table" song, Hermione got up and began dancing and singing. The rest of the group started laughing and clapping, but soon joined in themselves. When the song was over, they repeated the chapter again over and over and continued dancing, until Ron fell on top of Harry, who then caused Neville to stumble near Fred and George who caused George to do a really odd windmill thing with his arms, hitting Fred in the face and knocking him to the ground! George and Hermione were the only ones left standing. They looked around and burst out laughing again, and bowed to each other! Groans were heard as everyone got themselves up, helped by George. After that whole ordeal, everyone calmed down and started watching the movie again.  
  
"Everyone! SHH! Iss me favour-ite part!" Ron said excitedly, waving his arms.  
  
Over the summer when Hermione invited Ron to her house, they spent many hours watching some of Hermione's favorite movies, MP&tHG being one of the ones that Ron really liked, they watched it a few times. Along with this, Hermione also showed Ron many other muggle things, making sure he understood what it is, why its used, and how muggles use it. Ron's dad was very pleased to hear this when Ron went back home, and asked him everything Ron learned in the muggle world. Hermione's parents were of course happy to have him, seeing as how he's been dating their daughter for over a year now.  
  
It was the part where the Knights come to the castle with that French guard who teases them badly! (which happens to be one of my favourite parts!)  
  
Hermione began zoning out a little bit, quite drunk now, as she held her drink limply in her hands, watching the movie.  
  
"Easy there Herms," Fred said pushing her drink back into her hands a bit as it slid down. "Don't wanna make a mess now do ya?" he said smiling at her.  
  
"Oops!" she said, setting her drink down next to her, rather than trying to hold onto it any longer.  
  
Neville looked at Hermione again as she started laughing with Ron hysterically.  
  
"You sure you're okay?" he asked her sloppily, "you seem a bit drunk.."  
  
Hermione looked at him again "Like you should talk! You're as drunk as I am! And for th' las' time..I'M FINE!"  
  
"Okay, I was just trying to look out for you, you know?" Neville said soothingly turning back to the movie.  
  
" I swear Neville," Ron said leaning around Hermione to look at him, "If you as' Herm-ione tha' one more time..you're gonna wake up with more than a 'angover t'morrow mornin'! Iss getting on m' nerves. Don't worry 'bout 'er ok?" he finished.  
  
"Sorry 'bout that! Didn't know I wos bein' annoyin'!" Neville said brightly.  
  
After the movie was over, the gang decided to try and play Nintendo again, but instead of Mario, it was Pac-Man, which opened up a great deal of confusion for pretty much every one.  
  
"Wait, wait, wait, wait!" Ron said as he watched ghosts chase Pac-Man around. "Why on earth are ghosts after him? Is that thing he's in haunted?" Ron said tilting his head to the side.  
  
"Isn't it obvious?" Fred said to him, "Muggles musta been on...whatcha call 'em..uuhhh..kinda like potions but not...DRUGS! THA'S THE WORD! They were on those drug things, that messed wif their minds, and created these games."  
  
"WOAH!" Neville said, "So, they just sat around, took those drug thingies, and saw all this stuff? I'd be scared to death if I ever saw it in my mind, not knowin' what it all was! Thass weird! No wonder why they came up with all them other things they use. HERMIONE!" he said very seriously, "How long have you been using drugs?!"  
  
Hermione began laughing really hard again to the point where tears where pouring from her eyes.  
  
"No, no, no!" she gasped, "Not every muggle uses drugs and see this stuff! Not many use drugs at all!" she said drinking from her Candy Apple mix (butterscotch and Smirnoff Twisted Apple) "It was just their 'maginations or sumthin'! Oh!" she said clutching her side, "I haven't had such a good laugh in a while!"  
  
P.S- Sadly, we're almost to the end of our tale! Can anyone guess what the surprise is yet? ;-D post what u think it is, but as I said before, I will reveal all at the end! 


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: Oh Man!  
  
Once Hermione explained to Neville that not every muggle uses drugs, except maybe alcohol, she went over to the case, which was beginning to look bare, and had herself another drink. Neville turned back to the game but not without asking Hermione to..get him a drink!  
  
Hermione thought for a moment that he was going to ask her if she was ok again, because if he did, Neville wouldn't get that bottle in the hole he wished it would be..  
  
The boys continued to play Nintendo while she decided to watch. Getting bored after about 10 minutes, she made her way to a stereo system and found a CD case, filled with some of Fred and George's favourite music. Not really liking any of the music she saw before her, Hermione gave a look of confusion and walked over to the couch, looking for her purse. In her purse she had her CD case because she'd listen to them while driving in her parents' car every now and then.  
  
Finally, she found it; Hermione fumbled and placed it into the stereo, pushing the button to find a song she wanted to dance to. Turning to number 7, she found the song she was looking for, and went to the open area to start dancing. It was the weirdest song blasting from the stereo system, as Hermione began dancing to it. The song was none other than.  
  
"It's peanut butter jelly time! Peanut butter jelly time! Peanut butter jelly time! Peanut butter jelly time! Now where he at? Where he at? Where he at? Where he at? Now der he go! Der he go! Der he go! Der he go!.."  
  
"Heeeyyy! I know that song!" Neville said as he got up to dance with her, "I 'eard it once at a muggle club tha' song!"  
  
Hermione ignored him and continued dancing until Neville came too close for her to ignore any longer. Getting a bit annoyed, she made her way to Ron, who wasn't much of a dancer, and pulled him up to start dancing. Soon, everyone was on their unsteady feet, trying to sway correctly to the music. Hermione went over to the stereo and pushed the RANDOM button, so that no one knew what songs would be next. She gave a great squeal of excitement as she heard the opening to the next song!  
  
"RON! 'SS OUR SONG!!!" she screamed and started dancing close to Ron, as the band sang 'Step inside! Walk this way! You and me babe! HEY HEY!'  
  
Hermione never thought of herself as much of a dancer, especially while drunk! But she didn't care as she was dancing very very close now to the man she loved.  
  
As the CD went on, the whole group danced to whatever song played on the list next, Fred and George doing a break dance routine occasionally (or attempting to) until all the songs have been played, and started to repeat. But by then, everyone felt that they've done enough dancing for the night and went back to their seats, drinking whatever was left, talking (or attempting to) with people they haven't for the past hour, and resumed general party mode.  
  
Hermione was carried back to the couch, breathing heavily, by Ron, who sat next to her, smiling in a goofy sort of way, kissing her forehead.  
  
"I mussay." he said to her as she opened one of the last Lemonades, "For some'ne who ne'er drank be-fore, you're the life of the party!" Ron kissed her again.  
  
In mid-kiss, Hermione began giggling, making Ron slowly stop. He pulled back from her, "Wassit now?" he said looking at her in mock confusion.  
  
"You're jus sssoo ador'ble when you're drunk!" She said leaning her head on his shoulder, closing her eyes.  
  
"As are you Love." He said to her, rubbing her shoulder. "Where'd 'joo ever learn t' dance like tha'?" he asked.  
  
"Ooohh, I guess I just picked it up somewhere." she said innocently.  
  
Ron began laughing uncontrollably for a minute! When he finally got his breath back, he asked, "Does every muggle know how to dance like that?"  
  
Hermione burst out laughing and kissed Ron again sweetly.  
  
Just then, Harry came slouching over and sat right in between them, looking from one to the other. "I say!" he proclaimed, "This is one smasssssshing party wasn't it? I mean 'Erms! Th' way yous was dancinging out there was fantas'ic! Sum those songs was great wouldn't you say? I think we should do this more of'n.."  
  
Ron broke in "And I think someone's had a wee too much te drink!" laughing afterwards, "We do it enough on our own time any'ays! You're beginin' t' worry me! I don't want you becoming a drunk on me now!" Ron said with a smile.  
  
"Ah! My dear friend, I think what yous mean t' say was you don't wants us to become drink drunks!" Harry said pointing at Ron and smirking slightly.  
  
"Ah yessss! But where would you be without your Drinkin' Mate eh?" Ron continued laughing harder.  
  
Soon both Harry and Ron were thrown into a fit of hysterical laughing, as they reminded each other of past drinking escapades, getting up from the couch and moving to where Fred and George were to compare the scandals.  
  
Hermione smiled blissfully as she watched her boyfriend walk over with his best friend towards their brothers. Interested in hearing some of these herself, Hermione got up, very unsteady, and followed them, sitting herself down on the ground between the two groups, listening to "fond memories" they all shared.  
  
"Remember tha' one time at th' Three Broom-sticks, after exams, when you went te go get more drinks when you.." Fred was laughing so hard he could hardly continue, "You tripped on somethin' and fell on Madame Rosmerta, pulling her down with you? And she went WOOSH straight between your legs! Almost getting her skirt caught on a loose nail? Boy did she slap your face hard!" he managed to choke out. George was laughing very hard himself and began beating his fist on the table. "Yeah, but I woul'nt change a thing! From my view, I didn't need no stupid nail to see what's under tha' skirt!"  
  
The whole group of them roared with laughter, while George regained his breath, waving his arms to show he wasn't finished.  
  
"Or..or how 'bout th' time we wandered through th' Leaky Caldrinun and came out in the muggle world!" George began laughing, "And you peed righ' on a p'liceman's car? And he said 'OY! What the bloomin' hell are you doing?'" he had to stop a moment in order to breathe, "And you said 'Wassit look like 'm doin'?' and the man says to yeh 'My car wasn't that shade of yellow when I parked it there.' And yous says 'Well I figure it could do with a new coat of paint!' an' we was locked up for th' night? Tha' was a blast!" George ended.  
  
But while she was laughing, Hermione began to feel a little sick. She started swallowing, seeing if the feeling would go away, but instead it got worse. She then made her way upstairs and poured herself a big glass of water and took it back down with her, no one noticing she was gone. After taking a few dollops of water, she did start to feel better and sat down on the couch, closing her eyes for a second until.  
  
"Hermi'ne, you ok?" Neville asked her, sitting next to her.  
  
She didn't respond and kept her eyes closed, turning her face away from him. Hoping that the terrible feeling would go away.but Neville was about to make it ten times worse.  
  
"Hey, hey." He said placing his hand on her leg. "You all right there 'Mione?" Neville said as he rubbed his hand along her thigh in a sexy sort of way.  
  
Taking a deep breath, Hermione clenched her jaw, and grabbed Neville's shirt, pulling him close to her face.  
  
"This time, I'm not okay. And unless you want to be the first one for me to throw up on, then I suggest you back off for a second, and let me breathe." She said suddenly savage.  
  
Neville stared at her wide-eyed and promptly did what Hermione said, and went back to where the guys were. Hermione was planted on the spot. She didn't feel like moving an inch. Her head pounded, her stomach lurched, and she thought if she opened her eyes, the world would spin around her  
  
"Uuuhh, I thin' there's sumthin' worng with Hermi'ne over there." Neville said after a few minutes to the guys.  
  
Fred and George didn't notice anyone said anything, and Harry was too busy listening to them, but Ron certainly heard tow key words 'Hermione' and 'wrong' in the same sentence.  
  
Leaping up as if he was sitting on a white-hot hedgehog, he bound over to her in less then a second. He knocked over a chair causing Fred to shout at him, "Oy! Watchit there!"  
  
"'Mione! Oohh are you okay?" he asked sweetly, pushing her hair back.  
  
Hermione looked at him and moaned, "I don't feel good!" almost in tears. Ron frowned sympathetically at her and wrapped her gently in a hug. She began to cry, "'m gonna die!!!" as she pulled away, fearing that she'd throw up on him.  
  
"No, you're not! No, you're not!" Ron said soothingly to her, putting his hand on her arm.  
  
"I can't make it upstairs to throw up!" she wailed.  
  
"Whassa mat'er with Herms?" Fred asked looking concerned.  
  
"She's a bit stomach sick, and she won't be able to make it upstairs to go to the bathroom and-" Ron said rapidly, but Fred held up a hand, signaling him to stop.  
  
"Tha's exact-ly why we had this installed." Fred said pointing to a toilet, sitting near their washing machine. "Jus' in case George 'n I forgot how to get upstairs."  
  
"You're going to be okay." Ron told her as Hermione made her way to the loo sitting in the middle of the floor. Though she didn't care at the time, Hermione put her head down on the seat and waited as the acid burnt up her throat. But instead of throwing up, she grabbed water, and washed a bit back down (sorry if it grosses you out!) and closed her eyes.  
  
"I don't wanna throw up!" she mumbled.  
  
"Maybe iss best if you do Herms." Fred said, "I know it 'urts but iss got'a be done."  
  
"Hermione, if you concentrate on something, and not being sick, then you won't have to throw up." Ron told her, pulling her hair back.  
  
Opening her eyes to see what she could focus on, she noticed a picture sitting behind the toilet, to her it looked like teddy bears, dressed as angels.  
  
Neville stayed far back from the group around the toilet, asking what was going on as he busied himself playing a game of some sort. George told him a play-by-play of what went on, and Neville said in a sad voice "Oohh, I hope she'll be ok."  
  
"Hermione? Hermione? Look at me." Ron asked her, but she just kept staring at the picture. "Look at me Hermione! You're going to be fine, don't worry. You aren't going to die. All I ask is if you look at me. It'll help-"  
  
"I can't look at you Ron!" she said suddenly, "I have to focus on the teddy bears!" She said loudly.  
  
Everyone snickered around her as she laughed herself, realizing how ridiculous it sounded. Feeling a bit better, she pulled her head away from the toilet and looked into Ron's eyes.  
  
"'m feeling better. I think I wanna lay down though!" she said as she tried to get up, but alcohol and gravity were against it.  
  
"Here you go Herms." Fred said in a sort of singsong voice, picking her up and carrying her to his bed, covered in sheets. Hermione sat up and stared at one spot on the quilt with her hands over each other.  
  
"You cold?" Ron asked gently, looking in her eyes.  
  
Hermione nodded, "Yeah, a little." Ron pulled out a Quidditch hoodie from the dresser next to the bed and handed it to her. She put it on immediately and started to pull covers over herself as she lay down, still thinking of those teddy bears. Ron was sitting up next to her and began rubbing her back gently. "Well Hermione," he whispered, "For you firs' time, I mussay, you did m' proud." Hermione smiled into the pillow as Ron kept rubbing her back gently with his fingertips, which was the best sensation in the world to Hermione.  
  
Author's Note: BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE! We still have another 2 chapters to go yet people! Yessss..even more stuff happened on this night but we are winding down a bit. Hope you all enjoy! 


	6. Chapter 6

Author's note: Hi guys! Thanx again for all the reviews you sent in! ^_^ Some of you are close with the thing that's gonna happen....well, now it's time to reveal all! Sorry I didn't update earlier, I had a lot of stuff to deal with (parents separating and what not) so now it's the second to last chapter! Enjoy! WARNING! This chapter has some sexual type stuff going on, but no actual sex was performed in any way (trust me, I know) don't worry, it'll still be funny ;-)  
  
Chapter 6: WHAT THE...?  
  
Hermione would fade in an out of consciousness as she was lying in the most comfortable bed in the world. One thing she did notice was that Ron left her, she wasn't sure when, and could hear parts of conversations that the others were having. Her brain couldn't really process what they were saying though; she just knew they were talking.  
  
One thing she did pick up though was either Harry or one of the twins saying "Hey Neville...Hermione looks cold over there...why don't you make her feel better?" At the time Hermione heard this, she didn't really care what was going on, but she would soon have to.  
  
She felt someone lay next to her and soon heard a voice in her ear saying words she really didn't feel like hearing at the time..."Aaaww, Hermione, you ok?" Unable to talk because her body didn't want to move, she lay silent praying he'd leave soon and would punch whoever it was that told him to go over there when she was able.  
  
Assuming she was asleep, Neville began rubbing her back, which did feel good, and whispered "Does that feel good?" Hermione groaned in a sweet sigh sort of way and the rubbing continued.  
  
She didn't know how long that went on for because she began to fall asleep still feeling like throwing up every now and then but she kept thinking of the angel teddy bears that saved her before from puking. Next thing she knew, the hands that were rubbing her back moved into a new place, some where that she certainly didn't want to be touched at the time, and certainly not by Neville.  
  
Neville somehow got the idea to grope her chestal region (boobs) and the only thing Hermione could do was lay there, because her body still didn't want to move, even when she was screaming inside her head "Get up now!" over and over. Angry at herself for letting herself get into such a state she wanted to cry out or just plain cry, but her body didn't want to do that either...  
  
Then...she felt an incredible rage towards Neville as the groping continued. As soon as she was able, she was going to choke him to death for thinking and doing such a thing to her.  
  
Finally, she got movement in her arm, and flung it over her mammary glands rapidly, thinking that finally she was protected, because he stopped. Sighing to herself, she fell asleep for a little bit, hoping that he'd get the hint that she didn't want to be touched in that way, except by Ron.  
  
But how wrong she was. Neville did stop for a bit, but he tried again and was successful somehow. Hermione was getting angry again and then she heard something that made her have a heart attack..."Geeze Neville! What are you tryin' to do? Have sex wif her?" At this, Hermione became frantic and urged every muscle in her body to move. Whichever one worked first, she didn't care! Finally, she found her voice and began to say something "Get off me!" she mumbled into the pillow. Neville did stop for a second, but tried to continue in a sort of subtle way.  
  
Then Hermione had enough energy to move in any direction she wanted and decided to flip over on her stomach and try to sleep. "Ha ha!" she thought to herself, "I'd like to see ya try and get at 'em now!" This motion did put Neville off for a while, and he began rubbing her back softly again. Yet again however, he made another attempt to feel her up as he began moving his hand down to her butt and was making Hermione's "uncomfortable meter" climb waaaaayy up.  
  
After a few more minutes while Hermione gathered her strength, she was finally able to move again! The first thing..."You know what?" she said and to Neville's surprise... WHAM!!! "I feel aaaaallllll better!" she had punched Neville in the face when she whipped the covers off her. Leaving Neville sitting on the bed under the quilt, she got up and began staggering back into the party. (Even though she lied to herself about being entirely back to normal.) But she turned around and went back to the bed, shoved Neville over really hard because she heard a muffled "OUCH!" from the covers, then went to go join the party again.  
  
Finding a seat on the couch, Hermione sat back down and watched Fred and George try to play a card game, with Harry and Ron being thrown into fits of hysterics at absolutely nothing at all, or maybe it was just simple things, like words. Either way, Hermione was very happy sitting with them again after enduring 2 hours of Neville's torment.  
  
"HA! Rummy!" Fred called as he laid down his hand of cards and scooped up the crisps (of different flavours of course) in the middle of the table, a wide grin on his face.  
  
"Funny..." said George with a smirk, "I see two rummies!"  
  
At this, everyone who heard the joke, (you necessarily didn't need to understand it in such a state of drunkenness!) immediately began laughing, while Fred grabbed a handful of crisps and threw them at George's face, nearly making him choke on a particularly rigged one. Of course George had to retaliate by seizing a nearby cup with some sort of liquid in it, and promptly spilling it in Fred's lap.  
  
"*GASP!* You great twit!" Fred said laced with laughter, "You made me laugh so 'ard I wet meself!"  
  
Ron and Harry were laughing so hard they couldn't stand anymore, even when trying to support each other. Ron began to fall and Harry followed right after, landing on Ron's legs. Ron was beating his fist on the ground while Harry tried to get back up but gravity and alcohol were against it (as it was for many people there).  
  
Hermione began enjoying herself again, and wandered over to the DVD player to put in another movie. Not liking any of the movies strewn in front of her (the boys must have run into them) yet again, her purse comes to the rescue.  
  
The thing is, she had to find it again. After searching for 10 minutes, she sat back in front of the television, and sighed, until her eyes were drawn to Fred and George who were fighting with the food harder then ever. Spotting a strap dangling from the couch, Hermione went to go grab it...the problem was the twins.  
  
Her purse was currently buried under Fred's body because George was looming over him, getting ready to shove a thing of melted cheese in his face.  
  
"OH NO YOU DON'T!" Hermione shouted, stomping as best as she could (without falling over) towards the couch, making George put down the bowl of cheese. "Up you!" she said to Fred, trying to move him. He began laughing at her as she put a hand under his thigh and another on his shoulder, trying to shove him over.  
  
"Wat do yeh wan' me te move for?" he chortled.  
  
"UH! Because...I need...(grunt) my purse!" she said trying as best as she could to move the twin. Throwing her hands up in frustration, she sat directly on him and heard "Oomph!" as she did.  
  
"You can say th' magic word you know..." Fred said easily moving her to the other side of the couch. Hermione glared at him for moving her so quickly. "Well, if Ron saw you sittin' on m' lap like tha', he wouldn't be too happy."  
  
Hermionne stood up in front of him, fluttered her eyes and said "Please move?" sweetly.  
  
Fred winked at her and pulled her purse out. Unfortunately for the both of them, since he sat on it, the lotion bottle in there decided to squirt the inside with it's flowery smoothness. When Hermione found out, she promptly punched Fred in the arm, and hit George. Both were confused by what she did, but they didn't press the matter.  
  
Of course by this time, Hermione forgot why she wanted her purse so badly, so she threw it aside and sat down on another couch, next to Harry.  
  
"HI!" she said enthusiastically, waving. "How's your night been?"  
  
Harry looked at her with his eyes glazed over and smiled goofily "I'm juss ffffffine Herms. Th' nigh's been great, and yours?" he lightly pushed her.  
  
"Ooohh, mine's been fun! But now I can' think of anythin' to do..." she said pouting.  
  
"Hhheeeyyyy....I've got an ideaaaa!" Harry said excitedly to Hermione, who looked really interested in what he was saying and scooted closer to him. "How 'bout we go over there, and jump on that bed!" Which happened to be the bed where Neville passed out on, but neither Harry nor Hermione thought of it at the time.  
  
They helped each other up, but Hermione ran towards the CD player and put the song "Cotton Eye Joe" on repeat. They lopped arms, and began doing a skipping type motion towards the bed, but not before they had a dance to this song first. In front of the bed, they did a dance that they thought looked like square dancing, and it may have been better looking if they weren't so drunk, but it was entertaining to the others nonetheless.  
  
Soon the whole group (except Neville who was passed out) started square dancing together for several repeats of the song. Everyone was having a grand time and wore big smiles! George who swung her around to him thrust Hermione into Ron's arms. Soon Ron and Hermione became the center of attention as Fred and George shouted hoots while Harry clapped his hands to the music. Then once the song ended again, everyone else resumed dancing for a couple more times. Completely out of breath by the time they were done, everyone promptly flopped down on the bed.  
  
"Wellp Gents and Lady," George breathed, "Iss now....5:30 in th' morning. I think iss 'bout time we got some sleep.  
  
Grunts of approval sounded from the rest of the gang as they started to sit up and figure out where everyone was going to sleep. While Fred and George set up areas like the couch that pulls out and a sheet over an extra mattress, with Ron's help, Harry pulled Hermione up by the arms so they were both standing on top of the bed.  
  
"What now?" Hermione said to Harry who just stared back at her.  
  
"Well...weren't we gonna jump on the bed?" he smiled and as he did, Hermione thought to herself 'Merlin, who could say no to that smile?' And they began jumping. They were having a blast until Hermione was nearly thrown off balance from a lump and they heard a loud groan from under the covers. Hermione and Harry stopped as she bent over to remove the sheet.  
  
"Oh, sorry Neville," she said to Neville who didn't open his eyes "Oh wait....no I'm not!" Hermione then proceeded rolling him off the side of the bed where he lay sleeping and muttered "gnightevrone" and began to snore. Hermione grinned wickedly and began jumping again with Harry. Harry however gave one last powerful jump, hit his head on the ceiling, and flew off the side of the bed, landing on his back on the ground.  
  
"*GASP!* Harry! You okay?" Hermione squealed as she went over to the edge of the bed and looked at him. He smiled and said "Night 'Mione! Night everyone!" and fell asleep where he fell. Smiling and shaking her head, Hermione lay on the bed and closed her eyes feeling quite tired now.  
  
"Alrigh', Herms and Ron can have th' bed there, George, you can sleep on the pull out, Harry and Neville are fine," Fred said waving his hand impatiently "And I'll sleep on this extra mattress 'ere. Good night all!" he said promptly laying down on his mattress, getting comfortable.  
  
Ron came over to the bed where Hermione was, already half asleep, and kissed her good night, laying down right next to her. Hermione whipped around and wrapped her arms around Ron, falling sound asleep, listening to his beating heart.  
  
Note: Yes, this does sound like the ending, but there's just one more chapter to go yet, and I'll reveal another secret to the story okay guys? Once again I apologize for not updating sooner! -HobbitLuvr- :-D 


	7. Chapter 7

Author's note: SORRY again! I was busy with a few things like my birthday (which was the 28th :-D) and work/school. But yes, this is the end of my tale. FEAR NOT! I'm currently writing 2 more stories at the moment for everyone! This chapter will be short too, just to wrap things up. (P.S.- sorry if I made u guys hate Neville! He's not such a bad guy :-/ all will be explained!)  
  
Chapter 7: The Morning After  
  
During the course of the night/morning, Hermione would occasionally wake up, just to make sure that she was still alive, and to see if everyone stayed where they fell asleep/passed out. Harry had moved closer to the bed where she was sleeping and grabbed some extra blanket hanging over the edge to warm himself more. "So that's where it went?" Hermione thought to herself as she lay diagonally to get covers across her body. Ron was sleeping on his back, mouth open and snoring slightly with one arm still around Hermione's waist. Neville snored so loud that sometime when Hermione wasn't awake, one of the twins jammed a towel in his mouth to muffle it. Neville didn't seem to mind too much, because in his sleep, he was chewing on it. Fred was halfway hanging off his mattress with the blankets strewn about. George was flipped over onto his stomach and was snoring weakly, one pillow over his head. When an alarm sounded somewhere in the room at around 12p.m., George dragged himself out of bed, and turned it off. After doing so, he went back to the mattress and fell asleep again. The others however began to stir, groaning as their headaches slowly began to pound their skulls.  
  
"Uuugghh. What a night..." Harry said as he sat up, no longer wanting to sleep. "You know," he said thoughtfully "As many times as me and you have done this Ron, we should have learned our lesson."  
  
Ron made a noise of agreement. Or at least Harry took it as that. Apparently Harry and Ron have their own languages when it comes to being drunk or hung over.  
  
Hermione was still asleep when Ron got up and went to sit next to Harry.  
  
"Hey! I've got an idea!" Ron shouted as Harry covered his ears while others in the room moaned angrily. Hermione stirred and grabbed more covers.  
  
"Not so loud mate!" Harry said pushing Ron back over. "You must still be half drunk. Go lay down and sleep the rest of it off next to your girlfriend." Harry said hoisting Ron up.  
  
"Nah, I'm fine. Honest. I don't need any more sleep." Ron said getting up (unsteadily) and sitting on the end of the bed.  
  
Hermione decided that she couldn't get any more deep sleep, and woke up, pulling the covers over her.  
  
"Still cold Herms?" Harry asked her.  
  
She was still wearing the Quidditch jumper that someone (she couldn't remember who) gave her. Shuddering slightly, she threw off the cover and joined Ron at the end of the bed.  
  
"How you feeling Love?" Ron asked her as he kissed her cheek.  
  
"Oh just fine!" she said brightly. "I'm not hung over at all!" she said smiling to Ron and Harry, proud of herself that she doesn't have to suffer like the rest of them.  
  
"That's because you didn't get drunk..." Harry said to her slyly.  
  
Outraged, Hermione shouted at him "THEN WHAT DO YOU CALL WHAT I DID LAST NIGHT?!" at this, the twins promptly threw pillows at her, and Neville made an angry noise and tried to get up but flopped back down, snoring.  
  
"Wait, why am I arguing this with you?" Hermione said suddenly.  
  
"Come on Hermione, you know you enjoyed it. You were merely tipsy last night. You certainly didn't drink enough to get pissed. Maybe piss drunk," Harry said laughing "But not pissed."  
  
"Well, by your standards or Ron's no. But by a normal persons', anyone smaller than Hagrid, then yes, I would say I was drunk last night." Hermione said in her 'matter of fact' tone, thus ending the argument, as Harry and Ron laughed.  
  
Finally after another 10 minutes, the twins decided to get up and looked around the place.  
  
"Blimey! Last time we ever let you lot drink here!" George said as he walked around bottles, crisps, and other items strewn about on the floor.  
  
"Tuh! Half of this mess is the handy work of you two!" Ron said indignantly.  
  
"Oh yeah..."  
  
"Anyways!" said Fred looking wide awake, "Who's hungry? I can work up some breakfast for us then."  
  
"You mean lunch?" Harry said pointing to a clock on the wall, which was hanging off it's nail.  
  
"Whatever you wanna call it. I'll make us a meal!" Fred said getting ready to go upstairs.  
  
"Everyone up?" George asked looking around.  
  
"Neville's still sleeping." Hermione said looking around the bed at the lump on the floor.  
  
"Well, we best get him up then. No good sleeping the whole day now is it?" Fred said as he and George got identical grins on their faces.  
  
If there's anyone in the world you do not want to wake you up after a night of drinking, it was Fred and George. They devise the most devious ways to wake others from a drunken sleep, and Neville unfortunately was the one to be at their hands. They couldn't resist themselves as Fred dashed upstairs to get some ice, while George loomed ever closer to the stereo, getting ready to turn it on full blast.  
  
"Oh come on you two." Said Hermione sadly "Don't do that to him, he's tired and hurting. Even though it's his own fault..."  
  
"Why on Earth are you protecting him?" George said leering at her. "His hands were busy with your goods last night Hermione."  
  
"HE...WHAT?!" Ron shouted getting red in the face, making a furious move towards Neville.  
  
"Take it easy mate," Harry said pulling Ron back down on the bed who glared evilly at Neville (who had no idea all of this was going on) "Let Fred and George handle this. Plus, we've done stupider stuff when we get drunk. Don't be so hard on him."  
  
"No one touches Hermione like that except me." Ron growled.  
  
"Thank you for all the protection you give me Ron, even though you didn't help out much last night, but if he makes a full apology, then I will forgive him. As you should." Hermione said gently to Ron, whose face began to fade back into a normal colour.  
  
"All right. But if he doesn't..." Ron said as he watched Fred and George finally close in on Neville like predators hunting.  
  
"WAKIE WAKIE! EGGS AND BAKIE!" Fred shouted as he dumped ice all over Neville who sat bolt upright yelling as George blared music, making the others cover their ears.  
  
Neville stood up and punched the pair of them in the shoulders. "What'd you go and do that for?" he shouted at them.  
  
"Couldn't resist mate!" Fred said happily as George laughed. "Now then," Fred said as he grabbed Neville by the shoulders and led him to Hermione. "Apologize." George said flatly as Neville faced Hermione.  
  
"Er...for what exactly?" Neville said uneasily. At these words, Ron clenched his fists as Harry kept a firm grasp on his arm.  
  
"I believe you violated Hermione last night, after she was sick and laying in bed." Ron said through gritted teeth.  
  
Neville looked frightened and searched his memory, trying to think of what he could have done to cause such anger in Ron that frankly, he was terrified of.  
  
"I believe it had something to do with these!" Harry said pointing at Hermione's chest, who covered them up with her arms and slapped Harry lightly on the hand.  
  
"Oohh!" Neville said as it dawned on him what he did. "I'm really sorry Hermione! I didn't mean it honest! You know how some people can get under the influence! Sorry!" he said looking pleadingly at her.  
  
"Well, just as long as it doesn't happen again, or you'll have Ron and myself to answer to. It's not very wise making the co-councils of the D.A. now is it?"  
  
"Or the Leader." Harry interjected.  
  
"Once again I'm sorry Hermione." Neville said shrugging.  
  
"It's fine." She said smiling at him.  
  
Neville nodded to Harry and Ron, who immediately dropped their ferocious glares.  
  
"Now that everything's settled, how's about some food?" Fred said as he put on his sweater.  
  
"Yeah, let's go out somewhere to eat." George suggested following suit.  
  
Murmurs of agreement came from the rest of them as they tried to find their articles of clothing from the night before. Once everything was in order, they all went upstairs and out of the door into the blazing sunlight above them. They piled into the flying Ford Anglia (the twins found it and fixed it up proper, with some help from their father) and flew off, looking for the restaurant that they wanted to eat at.  
  
"Blimey!" Ron said shielding his eyes, "Somebody wanna turn down the sun?" the group laughed as they drove off in search of food.  
  
~The End~  
  
*So ends the tale! Now it's time to reveal everything and why Neville was uncharacteristic in this story. The thing is, this really happened to me! I was Hermione in the story; my boyfriend was none other than Ron, and my other friends filled in the rest. Yes, it was one of my male friends who did do that to me while I was trying to sleep (this story is completely true excluding the flying car :-P) but unfortunately, it's been nearly 6 months and he has not yet apologized to me for it. Neville in the books is a very good character and would never do such a thing, but he was the only one I could use for this story because it was uncharacteristic of my friend to do the same fondling to me, so that's why it seemed right. I have nothing against the real Neville Longbottom, but as for the one whom he portrayed, I'm a little antsy around him. My boyfriend of course won't threaten him, but I told him I want 'Neville' and I to sort it out between us. Well, I hope you enjoyed my story and I thank you for your reviews! Coming up soon is a story about Ron and Harry and a weird incident they have together, so look out for it! (Not slash lol) Thanx again everyone!  
  
~HobbitLuvr28~ :-D 


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